Scandal ‘Pilot’: The Gut Feeling

Scandal is what you’d expect from a procedural trying to decorate itself with the adornments of a long-term political plot line. The presence of Henry Ian Cusick (LOST) and Kerry Washington (Ray, Boston Legal) suggested their might be a little meat to the otherwise drab premise of the show: but alas, any acting talent here is buried way underneath layers of shitty, contrived plot lines, and the inability of the pilot to bring any personalities to its ancillary characters…. and worst of all, turns the protagonist into an stereotypically emotional and out-of-control female archetype.

The show revolves around Olivia Pope (Washington), a former staff member of the person who is the new president of the United States. The show’s first big problem is that it doesn’t bother to characterize any of the other characters on her staff in the first episode. Some of them aren’t even given NAMES in the episode, and the only character they bother to add any depth to, Steven (Cusick), is a horribly stereotypical suave womanizer who is struggling with the concept of being faithful and in a committed relationship (the pilot involved him struggling with the idea of a marriage proposal).

There’s no opportunity for character development, because the show is hell bent on its plot, which revolves around the first case-of-the-week plot, all while trying to introduce the reason for the show’s title: a presidential conspiracy. The case of the week plot is about a military man being accused of murder, and while all signs point to his conviction, we’re convinced of his innocence by the one barometer of truth on the show: the gut of Olivia Pope.

I kid you not; there are about a dozen references to “my gut feeling”, which is THE MOST idiotic, unrealistic character trope her character could hang on. The show makes one thing pretty clear: Pope thinks her intuition is a gift to the world, even though the show goes out of its way to both prove her character wrong in both of the pilot’s cases.

The second case is the real core of the show’s continuing plot: a philandering President who convinces Pope to destroy an unconvincing mistress. Problem is, Pope has a little thing for the president, too, and when she finds herself alone in the Oval Office, the episode is quick to throw away the last 45 minutes of character development. You see, the show goes so far out of its way to present her as a measured, calculating person who excels in high-pressure, quick reaction situations, only to bash it all down in the last four minutes turning her into a blubbering animal who is juuuuust weak enough to fall into the charms of the president. It’s so fucking awful and contrived, and it really leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

That taste gets worse with the conclusion of the plot of the week, which tries to bring in social issues like gays in the military, and tries to milk it for dramatic effort, coming across instead as prehistoric in its belief system, and simply idiotic when it comes to plot structure. It’s a plot full of red herrings and misleads, and would fit in perfectly in some shit show like Criminal Minds, Cold Case, or CSI.

The script doesn’t just feature cardboard (or invisible characters) and a shitty plot: it manages to eradicate any sense of plausibility with super-rushed dialogue that tries to set up the show’s reality poorly, and quickly enough that there’s time for Pope to run around D.C., fucking up numerous cases with her rushed judgement and total disregard for realistic police procedure. The rushed dialogue goes hand in hand with the visual style, which is full of unsettling jump cuts and bad shot blocking, relying on too many close-ups and ‘hip’ transitions to establish anything but a frenetic, juvenile filming style.

Do I really need to keep writing? This show sucks, and there isn’t a lot of hope for the show, which is obviously determined on intertwining an overarching plot about shady politicians. But if you like super unrealistic shows about law firms who aren’t law firms and therefore can do whatever they want without fear of legal recourse, then this will be the show for you. I won’t be tuning in again.

Grade: F

Other observations:

– how does someone like Pope know someone has had gonorrhea, but not that the most famous military face in America isn’t secretly gay? Just one of many inconsistencies from Pope’s character, who goes from impeccably strong in the beginning, to laughably emotional and fragile in the finale.

– the way Pope tears down the alleged mistress gave away too much of her character’s obvious motivations, and only made her character another emotionally frail, mentally unstable female on television. Sad to see talent like Washington’s wasted.

– When did Guillermo Diaz get so fat? I recognized his voice, but did a double take when I saw him. And what the fuck is he, the janitor or something?

Ugh, what a mess. Did you like Scandal? Think I’m being too hard on the archetypal procedural? Leave your thoughts below!