Second Look: Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place Season 2, Episode 16 – “Two Guys, a Girl and Valentine’s Day”

Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place Season 2, Episode 16 “Two Guys, a Girl and Valentine’s Day”
Written by Vince Calandra
Directed by Gil Junger
Aired February 10, 1999 on ABC

Like the other two winter Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place holiday episodes preceding it, “Two Guys, a Girl and Valentine’s Day” leans into its most chaotic elements as it unwinds a stories of romantic conflict – and after focusing on Berg and Pete in the aforementioned entries, it’s no surprise “Valentine’s Day” gives Sharon a turn in the spotlight. And just like “Two Guys, a Girl and Thanksgiving” and “Two Guys, a Girl and a Christmas Story” (or as Berg calls it, “the misery season”) before it, there’s a bit of a drop in quality when it turns its attention away from situational comedy and professional anxieties, into superficial romantic and character conflicts. That change is felt acutely in “Two Guys, a Girl and Valentine’s Day”, a thoroughly unenjoyable 22 minutes full of regressive character motivations and a few plot lines that, while interesting, seem to undercut much of what the show’s spent much of the previous 15 episodes trying to move away from.

Perhaps what is most frustrating is how it smartly utilizes the setting of Valentine’s Day, setting up a dinner with Sharon and Johnny, Pete and their neighbor Irene, and Berg and Shaun, to again touch on Sharon’s relationship anxieties, previously seen in “Two Guys, a Girl and an Internship”, “Two Guys, a Girl and a Limo”, and “Two Guys, a Girl and a Gamble”. After Sharon “experiences” Johnny and Shaun being buddy-buddy while hanging out in the pizza place, she tries to set Berg up with Shaun, out of pure paranoia that Shaun has feelings for Johnny – despite their being no real inclination in the past, including Shaun’s first appearance on the series, that there was anything for Sharon to worry about besides her own emotional projections.

But when Berg’s first date with Shaun (where they join Sharon and Johnny at the movies) is an absolute disaster, he picks up pretty quickly that Shaun is secretly in love with Johnny, and that Sharon was right all along. And although it initially feels like a disappointing, unnecessary choice by the writers to justify Sharon’s cliched behavior (because you know, men and women just can’t be platonic friends!), it also presents the series with an opportunity to really challenge Johnny and Sharon, by forcing them both to confront truths about themselves; that Sharon is a little more unsure about the speed of her relationship than she’s letting on, and that Johnny is a bit oblivious to any of the signs the women around him are trying to give him.

Instead, “Two Guys, a Girl and Valentine’s Day” ignores all of that; after Shaun fakes being into Berg to draw Johnny’s attention (and fails), she breaks down at dinner in her hot red V-Day dress, confessing her love before running off and immediately sending Sharon into a spiral, telling Johnny to immediately move out of their apartment after he admitting he didn’t know how to feel about Shaun’s sudden declaration. Not only does it make Sharon seem incredibly spiteful and immature (she doesn’t even hear Johnny out before shutting him down), but it also makes Berg look like an asshole, as he prods and pokes and argues with Shaun for most of the episode, before everything inevitably spills over.

Even for Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place it lacks nuance; and those bad vibes spill over into the rest of the episode, which features Pete ‘accidentally’ letting his slightly-obsessed neighbor Irene (who we saw give Pete and Berg a bottle of champagne in the “Two Guys, a Girl and a Graduation” flashback) think they’re in a relationship for a brief period of time. If this were a bit of harmless farce, it would be one thing; but Pete takes full advantage of Irene, making out with her on the couch before setting her up to go out to a dinner where the only outcome is she’d leave feeling embarrassed and ashamed – which is exactly what happens, when it is made quite clear Irene that Pete’s only been dating her because he’s too afraid of what will happen if he tells her the truth.

It’s an unceremonious debut for Irene, who would return in season three to become a central character as the series matured (even becoming one of the most interesting parts of season four, if I may get way ahead of myself) – and other real bad moment for Pete with women, effectively forgetting his relationship with Kaitlyn and reducing him to “Two Guys, a Girl and an Internship” level Pete, a guy just horny enough to compromise his very morals and values, and unwilling to realize the damage he can cause until it’s a bit too late (and when he goes to apologize over the closing credits, he wimps out after seeing her Halloween decorations depicting violent acts).

What it all builds to – a moment where a disgruntled Pete and regretful Sharon sit on a couch and share an unexpected kiss – is somewhat of an interesting moment for the sitcom, though it is obviously dipping its toes into the kind of cliched storytelling episodes like season one’s “Two Guys, a Girl and How They Met” were constructed to avoid. And if it was a moment the episode had built to more honestly, it would certainly hold some interest, with Pete spiraling through a quarter-life crisis and Sharon resisting against a life she always wanted for herself, but may not be really to fully embrace. Those ideas are potent, but aren’t really given a voice in this episode; instead, Pete’s shitty behavior and Sharon’s impulsive outburst make their kiss – essentially the moment closing out the second act of season two – feel more toxic and regressive than intended, an enormous misfire in a season that’s had relatively few of them up to this point.

Everyone just kind of sucks in “Two Guys, a Girl and Valentine’s Day”, leaning into the tropes of an overrated, pressure-filled holiday in about the most immature way imaginable. Tack on a rushed ending with significant implications for the show’s status quo, and “Valentine’s Day” is not just a disappointing episode, but an absolute momentum-killer for a series just finding its footing again after the whole Ashley/Berg debacle that consumed so much of season two’s first act. While I can certainly respect Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place‘s willingness to continue changing and experimenting, the choices it make in this episode are risky – and in this specific instance, executing in such disappointing fashion, it raises a few alarms for what may lie ahead in season two’s final six episodes.

Grade: D

Other thoughts/observations:

• There are a few good jokes about Shaun’s Slavic family restaurant, where the episode’s big V-Day dinner is staged. Hardly a saving grace, though.
  
• Johnny isn’t seeing it: “My nephews really like tackling Shaun.”
  
• Irene gives Pete a bunch of coupons for Valentine’s Day: “Could I get the cash equivalent?” he asks her.
  
• Berg pounding a pierogi in two bits is pretty hilarious.
  
• Sharon runs out of patience with Irene: “Pete was just trying to hang a mirror, he’s not in love with you… I hate your sweater, and you’re not funny!”
  
• Up next: Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place kicks up a storm with its first two-parter, “Two Guys, a Girl and the Storm of the Century (Part 1)” and “Two Guys, a Girl and Ashley’s Return (Part 2)”.