Friends Season 4, Episode 21 “The One with the Invitation”
Written by Seth Kurland
Directed by Peter Bonerz
Aired April 30, 1998 on NBC
“Clip shows” have been a staple in TV since before its existence; early 20th century radio serials used to do the same thing, for a multitude of reasons, including saving budget, endearing new audiences before season or series finales, or to help a series reach a syndication-friendly episode count. So ingrained in television it was, shows from Clerks: The Animated Series‘ second episode to Community‘s inventive “Paradigms of Human Memory” (or slightly less creative “Curriculum Unavailable”) made parody of its presence and utility – a legacy it gained in spite of Friends‘ warm embrace of the format, with “The One with the Invitation” being the first of six clip episodes to appear, all between now and the show’s tenth and final season (for math nerds, that’s 1 in the first 95 episodes, and five in the remaining 141).
“The One with the Invitation” is not only the first of these Friends episodes, but by far the most interesting; it is the only one of the six-pack to focus squarely on Ross and Rachel, which in a way allows it to provide a unique perspective on the writer’s room and their reflections and hopes for the Ross/Rachel storyline. Set against the backdrop of Ross writing his wedding invitation and Rachel subsequently receiving it, “The One with the Invitation” takes what would become a rather cheap, lazy device for the series in its later years and uses it to serve a rather essential storytelling function: to examine the interiors of its romantic leads (at least, so far – wink, wink), a reflection on their arc in the first act of the series as the show furiously careens through the opening act of its second.
What’s really unexpected about this episode is how, ultimately, it betrays how Friends felt about Ross and Rachel as a couple. All of the episode’s flashbacks fall neatly into two columns; Ross’s extended, awkward pursuit of Rachel through the first two seasons, and what I know refer to as The Dark Era, (aka, the period beginning with “The One with the Morning After” and ending with “The One with the Cat“). Though one might expect this to be a normal thing, given the entire episode is framed on their individual reactions to Ross’s wedding invitation, it really says a lot that all of the clips in this episode come from these two distinct periods; in neither of their plot-convenient moments of reflection do they think about the times they were actually in a relationship! There’s a distinct void between “The One Where Ross and Rachel… You Know” to “The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break” this episode ignores in its flashbacks, a season’s worth of episodes (24 exactly) where Ross and Rachel were actually a couple, going through the normal rhythms and struggles of a couple during the first year of their relationship.
In the moment, “The One with the Invitation” feels like a perfunctory time filler without much to say – in reality, this episode betrays the writer’s priorities with their romantic entanglements, and their obsession with the cycle of pursuit and rejection that would form major plot lines in most of the show’s remaining five-plus seasons. It’s something Friends can never truly shake – and the reasons are laid bare in this episode, betraying that for the creative minds of the series, its utility as a device for genuine tension and character development were over. Without falling too far down a rabbit hole, I think a lot of this becomes clear when the two have a child together later in the series – that foundation is really laid here, when Friends glosses over the highs and lows of their relationship, focused squarely on the two distinct inflection points it would return to time and time (and time, and time) again for the rest of the series.
Taking it a step further, there’s a strange undertone to how these flashbacks are distributed; while Ross’s flashbacks are all about the big romantic moments of his pursuit and how those affected him, much of Rachel’s flashbacks unexpectedly explore a lot of pain Rachel’s felt, at the expense of Ross’s joy, since the beginning of the series. The show is so obviously trying to frame it the other way, from her naivety around his initial attraction to her, to the various roadblocks in their way of getting together – and ultimately, driving them apart. Unfortunately, what it does is show Rachel contending with a lot of emotional turmoil; seeing him with Julie, listening to him get frustrated about her job (and Mark! Remember Mark?), watching as his whirlwind romance with Emily snuffed out any hope she may have held for reconciliation… it’s a revealing sequence of scenes, which is no surprise why the episode ends with Rachel rejecting the invite and crying into her hands as Monica holds her.
(It also oddly resolves her of her own doing in their relationship, from ignoring his pursuit, to the debate after “The One with the List” and her abhorrent behavior in “The One at the Beach”, the one time she did step in on Ross’s parade of women in front of her).
In a strange way, “The One with the Invitation” feels like a convincing argument for why Ross and Rachel should both move on with their lives. Again, the episode does not appear to be doing this intentionally (given where season four ends up, I realize this is obviously not the most astute observation), but in the embrace of the most dramatic elements of their relationship across nearly 48 hours of television, there’s an argument made that while maybe these two have an attraction they can’t fight, the only result of their entanglement will be these painful outcomes.
Regardless of intention, I think “The One with the Invitation” works really well as a dramatic amuse bouche before we head into the final episodes of season four. Just the shock of seeing the series flash back to “Pilot” is powerful enough to give this episode a bit of gravitas; the series of flashbacks and scenes that follow only solidify that, and make this episode much more than its later iterations and their cheap regurgitations of populist punchlines. There’s a bit of reflection, intended and not, about the journey of these two throughout the series, in a way that recognizes its iconic status, while suggesting it may be time for the series to head in a new direction (or, wink wink, fold back in over itself like a pretzel in disappointing ways while the rest of the series arguably gets better). It’s not a convincing farewell, but it is certainly an unorthodox interpretation of their story through the lens of a “clip show”; for that, “The One with the Invitation” is an oddity, but a surprisingly effective one.
Grade: B
Other thoughts/observations:
- Love the opening bit, where Chandler and Joey’s grand plans to climb Mount Everest become “one of these days we’re going to get off our butts and rent Die Hard again!”.
- There’s a good running bit where everyone thinks Ben addressed the invitations, not Ross.
- Ross tells Emily “invite whoever you want!”, which… boy, wouldn’t have that been a different kind of disaster.
- this episode is the first (and last?) time Friends ever thinks about or mentions Julie.
- One more fun bit of math: Ross’s flashbacks last 7 minutes and 24 seconds, and Rachel’s last 7 minutes and 19 seconds. Parity, baby!
- Extended thoughts: it’s a clip show, whadda you want from me?
- Up next: Phoebe and Joey face their own unfortunate truths in “The One with the Worst Best Man Ever”.