Friends Season 4, Episode 11 “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus”
Written by Seth Kurland
Directed by David Steinberg
Aired January 8, 1998 on NBC
From the moment it begins, “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus” is a different episode of Friends – its first images are of Frank Jr. and Alice in Central Perk, occupying the familiar space of the cafe’s couch. If that wasn’t a strange enough opening, “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus” drops a bomb 90 seconds into the episode, one that reverberates through the entire series, and perhaps for the first time ever, presents Phoebe Buffay with a tangible, emotional character arc. One of the more subtly subversive episodes of Friends in the series, “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus” remains one of my favorite half hours of the series – not just for the narrative it catalyzes for future episodes, but in how it grounds all of its characters in Phoebe’s journey of self-discovery, examining the fear that comes with taking a emotional leap of faith.
After its hilariously uncomfortable opening scene (at one point, Frank Jr. and Alice are feverishly making out on the couch), “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus” pulls back its lens a bit, to help level out the episode’s tone – Friends was never a series to be particularly coordinated with its bigger plot moments, but “Phoebe’s Uterus” is a good example of what the series could do when it could find that balance between the three running plots of any episode. Naturally, the other stories of the episode don’t have nearly the emotional stakes Phoebe’s does; but Joey’s quest for jacket equality and Chandler’s bedroom anxiety are both grounded in the idea of letting fear (semi-related, I just wrote about someone else who talked about fear a lot) define them.
Joey’s story is obviously the most simple, comedic interpretation of this idea; after taking a job at Ross’s museum as a tour guide (despite only knowing how to name one era of dinosaurs), Joey finds himself at the center of a hotbed of controversy when he discovers the occupational segregation occurring in the museum cafeteria. That realization, of course, comes when Ross declines to sit with him at lunch, alienating Joey in front of scientist and tour guide alike, and incurring one of the better comedic Ross monologues of the series.
As Ross tries to bridge the gap between lab floor and exhibit wing, “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus” leans into the comedic strengths of Schwimmer and LeBlanc (along with guest star Sherri Shepard, who is fantastic as a tour guide lamenting the loss of a childhood friendship) for a simplistic, but fun representation of the episode’s central idea. Ross standing up for what’s right is a rare example of his character having a spine, and it makes for a great moment the two shake hands, and the proverbial wall in the lunchroom crumbles apart – to the point people begin admitting to their OCD struggles or their proclivity for stealing fruit from the cafeteria. It’s a silly moment Friends plays for broad laughs; but it undeniably works, a great example of what principles and faith can mean in the Friends-verse, when applied to its narrative and characters with just a bit of thoughtfulness.
And what’s not to love about Chandler’s quest to please his woman? In 1998, the concept of men prioritizing women’s sexual pleasure was sadly, a rather nascent topic in television or film – which only makes it more intriguing how Friends builds this story into “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus”, expressing his deepest sexual insecurities with Kathy to Rachel and Monica (two women who are certainly known to poke at the sources of other people’s anxieties) about being inadequate compared to Joey. Even after the first time him and Kathy have sex, he’s still unconvinced he’s a comparable lover – a silly idea, as Monica and Rachel point out, given that him and Kathy are developing a much deeper emotional connection (or so we can assume, since Kathy’s appearances since “The One Where Chandler Crosses the Line” have been rather brief) than her and Joey ever had.
Despite that, Chandler’s lack of confidence pushes him to ask for help – as always, Chandler leads the way when it comes to characters accessing their vulnerability, and it pays its usual rewards in this episode. However, this time it doesn’t come from anything in Chandler’s character or Perry’s performance; staying true to his line of questioning through the episode, this one is all about the ladies. It’s led by one of Monica Gellar’s most iconic moments, drawing a diagram with 7 erogoneous zones for women, and walking Chandler through a hilarious, detailed description of how he might approach this new concept in bed – a scene that ends with Chandler, Monica, and Rachel all running to their individual bedrooms to relieve some tension, if you know what I mean.
It’s a scene that is everything great about Friends; it explores the evolving conversations about sex in the 1990s, but filtered through a series of honest, hilarious character moments (“Oh, toes!!!!” Rachel excitedly screams at one point, celebrating until she notices Chandler and Monica looking at her strangely). And by centering itself on Chandler’s vulnerability, it marries itself neatly to the episode’s central theme of discovery through emotional honesty – which, as the episode’s title indicates, delivers a powerful Phoebe story.
After hearing Frank and Alice’s odd request for her to be their surrogate (Frank Jr.’s description of the process of IVF is incredibly funny), Phoebe decides to visit her birth mother to talk about the experience of giving up a child to determine whether it’s something she has the emotional fortitude for. Her mother (Teri Garr, in her second and final appearance in the series) presents her with a test, handing her a young puppy and telling her she only gets to keep it for three days before she has to give it back, in order to understand the emotional sacrifice of giving up something you love, something you’ve nurtured and cared for, forever.
Predictably, Phoebe gets attached to the puppy, the voice of her mother’s hesitance bouncing around in her head as she tries to weigh her inherent benevolence against her (suddenly prescient) logic. And just when she decides it might be a bridge too far, Alice and Frank Jr. run into Phoebe at Central Perk, and in a panic, she gives them her mother’s puppy. And in that moment, it becomes crystal clear for her, a clarity Friends really only offers one other character through the entirety of the series (Chandler, in season six’s climactic arc): when she sees the happiness her fake gift brought them, she decides it’s worth it to go all in, and be able to give them a gift that would not only become her legacy, but her chance to start the Buffay family line all over again – and this time, do it differently.
As it is naturally paired with the show’s next episode, “The One with Phoebe’s Uterus” is often a forgotten part of the Friends ouevre – but its script is grounded in all the qualities of a fantastic Friends episode; it’s funny, reflective, and unexpectedly poignant in its climactic moments. Phoebe’s conviction at her decision is the element that ties it all together; when supporting (and being supported) by the people you love, sometimes the most difficult, risky choices in life are not so hard at all – that idea is fundamental to Friends as a series (even at its worst), and how that is expressed in this episode is as pure as anywhere else in the show’s lengthy, iconic run – the fact is does so while being backed by two thoroughly enjoyable subplots only further cements this as one of the show’s most underrated half hours, and a clear sign Friends is hitting a creative high note heading into the heart of its resurgent fourth season.
Grade: A
Other thoughts/observations:
- It’s almost easy to forget Frank Jr. and Alice weren’t married until this episode, when we find out they eloped so they could get a head start on making their perfect family.
- “We were wondering if you could be the girl we put it into” is probably still the most awkward way to ask someone to be a surrogate in recorded human history.
- Ross stumbles on the sentence “Donald Trump wants his blue blazer back”, which feels like a rare moment of Ross improv (at least, for the earlier seasons of the series).
- Chandler: “You’re going to carry their child, and get them a Sony PlayStation?”
- Love the exchange with Ross and Chandler in Central Perk: “I was going for the metaphor”. “Yes, and I was saying the actual words.”
- The last thing we learn about Phoebe’s mother is she does erotic pottery. It’s really a bummer they never bring Teri Garr again, because it definitely feels like the series cuts off a part of her identity when this plot arc ends that it never quite recovers.
- Favorite Chandler joke of the episode is when he sees Phoebe with the puppy: “Why is Phoebe holding Karl Malden?”
- For reference, the official Monica Orgasm Sequence is: 1-2-1-2-3-3-5-4-3-2-2-2-4-6-2-4-6-4-2-2-4-7-5-7-6-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7….7.
- “I’m Rhonda – and these aren’t real!”
- at one point, Rachel notes that Sophie’s Choice was “only ok”.
- The episode ends with Kathy running into the apartment (where Monica and Rachel are talking about surrogacy for each other) and kissing Monica, thanking her profusely for the lessons she passed down to Chandler.
- Extended thoughts: this is the rare extended episode where every scene feels a few seconds longer, with a few extra jokes. While it doesn’t radically change the pacing of the episode, there’s a deliberateness to each sequence, that really makes this a treasure of an extended episode (and with two extra minutes, one of the longer entries in the series).
- Up next: It’s time to play a game in “The One with the Embryos”.