(Editor’s note: Seasons 1 and 2 were reviewed under an earlier editorial standard and format. They’ll be revisited in the Second Look Remastered series, running January – June 2027. Subscribe to Processed Media (it’s free!) so you don’t miss the updates.)
It’s funny to think about how some considered Friends‘ “The One with the Lesbian Wedding” a ‘controversial’ episode back in 1996: two stations even refused to air it because of its content. “The One with the Lesbian Wedding” in no way tries to be A Very Special Episode, or even make a big point about gay marriage at all. Even in 2013, it’s kind of a refreshing portrayal of the whole situation, with every character openly accepting the wedding without a second thought or hesitation about what it meant. Yes, Monica does voice that it’s “ok” for them to get married because they love each other, but it’s the only moment like that in the whole episode. It’s nice to see love just be allowed to be love on a television show, without having to pander or trying to make some overt message about gay rights that already speaks for itself.
The lesbian wedding isn’t without its flaws, though: when Susan’s parents back out of attending, Susan for unknown reasons suggests they should just cancel the wedding, which sends Carol in a frenzy, yada yada yada. Ross pointing out that the marriage is for them not her parents is a blatantly obvious one, and the melodramatics only serve a repetitive purpose: Ross coming terms with their relationship, something he’s already done multiple times in the season. It’s not something the show lingers on for too long, but it feels like Ross is slipping back into the season one version of himself when he’s boycotting the wedding, or clinging onto Susan as he walks her up the aisle.
“The One with the Lesbian Wedding” (and the two episodes following it) thankfully give us a break on the Ross/Rachel nonsense littered about the first half of the season – but doesn’t do the greatest job finding interesting material to bide its time with. The worst of these (as usual) is Phoebe, who walks around with the spirit of an old woman inside her for the whole episode, all because poor Mrs. Adeleman needed to see a lesbian wedding before she’d “seen it all” and could move on to the other side. It’s nothing more than a series of old person cliches fed through Phoebe’s mouth in an old woman’s voice, like a body-switching comedy at its worst.
Rachel and her mother’s material is better – although it’s fairly simplistic stuff, save for the brief deleted scene where her mother talks about how she’s been in a daze for most of her marriage, only now realizing how unhappy she’s always been. Why they kept all the Phoebe junk in and cut this scene out amazes me; it’s the only time there’s a connection made between Sandra and Rachel beyond “Sandra wants her youth back”, and it really feels like there’s an understanding relationship between the two of them. I like the subtleties of that scene more than the surface-level emotional moment we got in the broadcast version, where Sandra tells Rachel “You didn’t marry your Barry… I married mine.” The deleted scene gives us meaningful insight into Sandra’s emotions, and puts into context the dichotomy between what Sandra sees in Rachel’s life, and what it’s like to actually live it (this might be the only time Rachel is worried to pay rent, by the way).
For an episode steeped in such touchy material for its time (I suppose it’s still a touchy subject now for religious types with their Bibles in a bunch), “The One with the Lesbian Wedding” is a quieter episode than one might expect – and compared to the quality of most episodes in this first half of the season, is one of the better, more emotionally honest entries. Plus there’s no Ross/Rachel bickering, which is always a major plus in my book.
Other thoughts/observations:
- the person who marries Susan and Carol is Newt Gingrich’s sister and gay-rights advocate Candace Gingrich. The more you know!
- speaking of the lesbian wedding: what was with the hats Susan and Carol were wearing? It’s sad NBC felt they had to minimize physical contact between them, the wedding is just kind of blase without the two of them being able to be expressive.
- Sandra: “I want a Chandler.”
- Rachel voices something we all assume as adults who grew up with married parents: who thinks their parents will get divorced once you’re an adult?
- does anybody really think Joey knows what ‘futile’ means?
- Up next: Friends takes on Sunday night with “The One After the Super Bowl”.
I liked Phoebe’s “If we were in prison, you guys would be my bitches” line. That at least partially covered the gaping humor void of the whole Monica/Rachel/JCVD “love triangle.”
Totally agree about the Julia Roberts plot. Horrible beyond belief! And it made Chandler look extremely pathetic (as if the “Bob” plot a few episodes back wasn’t enough).
Unfortunately, Friends would give a similarly insensitive portrayal of mental instability a few episodes later with the character of Eddie.
In ‘The one with the lesbian wedding’, you got Carol and Susan’s names backwards. Did you even watch it? It made me lose all faith in you and what you may have to say; how do you not know that Carol is the one that was married to Ross?
maybe at least get their damn names right when you write an article?
Um no. Just no. The lesbian episode was mediocre at best, and the Super Bowl episodes were classics.