Isn’t it odd how vapid the opening episodes of Friends‘ second season? Just when the end of season one suggests some kind of real movement in the status quo and overarching narrative, they hit with these two stinkers to open the season, nearly ruining Rachel’s character for the audience in the process. Though “The One with the Breast Milk” is undoubtedly a funnier episode than the season premiere, it’s just as hollow, three unrelated plots that don’t have a lot of material to keep them interesting (or anything linking them together whatsoever).
For the second episode in a row, Rachel drags everything around her down. Now consumed by her love for Ross – which has grown from “maybe I like him” to “he might be the person I’m supposed to be with”, even though they’ve shared three whole scenes together since she had this epiphany- Rachel can’t stand Julie, despite her being a perfectly tolerable human being. I enjoy how Friends presents Julie as a normal person, friendly and absent of the fatal quirks so many partners for characters on the show have.
But the show places no responsibility on Rachel to accept this reality – multiple times in the episode, she brushes off Julie’s friendly advances, muttering about what a bitch she is under her breath. It makes her a wholly unlikable human being, and begs questions whether she should be with Ross at all: just because she didn’t get to fulfill her impulse feeling of suddenly liking Ross, she can’t be happy that Ross has finally found some form of happiness post-divorce. It doesn’t even lead to that by the end of the episode: she appears to make up with Julie, and then dismisses her again as a manipulative bitch.
It doesn’t even stop there! She gets mad at Monica for hanging out with Julie behind her back (“Did my back hurt your knife?”), breaking the holy testament of not shopping at Bloomingdale’s with anyone else but her. For some reason, it leads to the two crying and reaffirming their friendship, without acknowledging Rachel’s overreaction to Monica trying to support her brother and his new relationship (something a friend might actually do in this situation!).
So Monica’s cowering around bitchy Rachel, who is at her whiniest through the entirety of the episode. At least there’s some enjoyment to be gained in Joey’s little Macy’s Western, facing off against a fellow cologne salesman (a job that requires you to annoy the shit out of everyone that walks by). It’s a little too short to really be effective – Joey getting the girl in the end is so tacked on and superficial, it almost ruins the moment – but the idea of Joey having to manufacture some kind of tension at his dead-end job to keep it interesting leads to some fun scenes, including his ‘saloon’ scene in the kitchen with Chandler, the highlight of the episode.
Both “The One with Ross’ New Girlfriend” and “The One with the Breast Milk” are focused on Rachel, and both of them in the worst way possible, regressing her character back to some ugly pre-season 1 form, where she can’t accomplish anything in her life because she’s too busy defining herself by her romantic relationship. The idea that she’s magically put Ross on some emotional pedestal is ridiculous, and the show doesn’t try to treat it as anything else, completely rejecting any idea of making the Julie/Ross/Rachel triangle an interesting dynamic. Instead, both episodes are constructed to tell us that it’s SUPPOSED to be Rachel and Ross together – and both fail because they make Rachel an undesirable character, presenting reasons why Ross shouldn’t be with Rachel, and not the other way around.
Other thoughts/observations:
- the rest of the episode is breast-feeding humor, which is neither funny or important in any way.
- the Rachel/Monica and Carol/Susan parallel is so poorly done.
- Monica points out to Rachel that she should accept Ross’s relationship – which Rachel openly refuses to do.
- Ms. Kitty will get you a nice hooker.
- Susan’s tasted breast milk, which is supposed to be some kind of lesbian sex joke… I guess? It feels like it’s supposed to be a joke of some sort, but there’s no life to Susan’s delivery of the line or anybody’s reaction. Very odd.
- Up next: Friends says farewell to a neighbor in “The One Where Heckles Dies”.