2 Broke Girls ‘And Martha Stewart Have A Ball’: Stalking Ms. Stewart

Whenever 2 Broke Girls takes a step or two in the right direction, it matches that progress by simultaneously taking four more steps back in the wrong direction. For one of the first times this season, ‘And Martha Stewart Have A Ball’ balances out the Caroline/Max relationship better than normal, giving their cupcake business some kind of clear direction for the first, except for it being some fairy tale wish. However, what development they finally brought to the plot was undermined by its usual terrible humor and a really weird conclusion. In all honesty, the only reason this show felt like a season finale was because it brought back Johnny and Chestnut, and had Martha Stewart in a 2-minute scene in the end.

That inconclusive feeling the last scene leaves viewers with happens for two reasons: firstly, the season essentially ends at the first important moment of the entire series, and secondly, there were SO MANY fucking commercial breaks, the episode could never even start to develop any sort of pace whatsoever. The product of it are a bunch of disconnected scenes that can only hammer away at the theme it’s doing a terrible job of getting across by spitting it out of the mouths of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER:

“Look how much you’ve changed” & “we’ve come a long way.”

But how much have they changed? They’re both still playing the same character roles they’ve been playing since the pilot. Max still makes whorish jokes (though she hasn’t hooked up with a single person all season, save for one kiss with Johnny), and Caroline is the faultless optimist, who has enough “wit” and “intelligence” to make a dick joke once or twice an episode. Han is still an Asian joke – in this episode, we find out he was too short to be a jockey! – and Oleg & Sophie still makes me cringe (someone please explain: why does Sophie have the world’s worst accent, but absolutely perfect English grammer? IT MAKES NO SENSE).

So what about these characters have really changed? The only evidence of change is Max’s sudden willingness to be optimistic about her own life, something she’s completely shied away from in any other episode, and it feels completely out of place when surrounded by much of her dialogue in the episode, the same mainstream attempts at vulgarity. Here’s a quick run-through of the hilarious topics covered in this hour-long crapsterpiece (each accompanied with the obnoxious, cranked-up canned laughter from the drugged-up studio audience):

– rape jokes… HAHAHA!

– “I call him Huge Jackman… because I dream he has a big penis.” HAHAHAHA!!!!

– cops are racist and chase around black people…. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

– cum jokes!!! HAHA!

– suicide jokes!!! HAHAHAH!

– Martha Stewart in jail! Martha Stewart says stoner! Martha Stewart in a big sweater! HAHA!

– Caroline’s hair is blonde… HAHAHAHA!!!

These are the same set of jokes we’ve been getting clobbered with for the last nine months, and its clear neither the characters nor the writers have learned anything about their show at this point. They bring back the annoying, completely unnecessary Chestnut (and assure us that Peach will still be making appearances next season, thanks to Max’s agreement) and Johnny, for no appartent reason except to spit some BS line about Max ‘always being behind the counter’ to be her motivation to succeed at meeting Martha Stewart.

But that isn’t the lowpoint: that honor goes to a grating, TWO MINUTE LONG montage of the girls trying on dresses, set to the most annoying song in the world right now, Nicki Minaj’s ‘Starships’ (yes, I get it: these girls are trying to fly). It all felt like a paid endorsement: the music didn’t fit at all with the action going on, and went on for way, way, way too long, almost to the point where it felt like an obnoxiously lengthy Family Guy parody.

I’ll share my final thoughts on the first season in a full review, but the finale is just a tossed salad of unfunny scenes – in other words,par for the course, and nothing that will entice any hesitant viewer in watching the second season when it returns. There’s nothing solved in the finale: Johnny doesn’t leave to get married (or do anything to suggest he wants or doesn’t want Max, at all), Martha takes their card and says a stoner joke, the girls get excited… and the season ends.

Grade: D

Other thoughts/observations:

– the steampunk gag to open the episode might be the stupidest one we’ve seen yet. Does anyone really dress and act like that? C’mon now.

– nobody in that entire ball heard them blatantly screaming about stalking Martha Stewart and them not being caterers? Hello, security?

– What’s with the Han/LinkedIn joke? When 2 Broke Girls tells a joke I don’t understand, I tend to seriously question my intelligence.

– the assistant and his double entendres was just a painful scene to watch. Why was that even necessary… there was no boss around to hear him, after it had been clearly established the headset was used for phone lines. Just being an asshole?

– when they’ve only been making or losing 20-100 bucks a week, how did they go from $650 to $922 between episodes with no explanation?

– Han asks the most important question of the series when addressing Caroline’s narcissism: “Doesn’t your CD have any other tracks?” Unfortunately, it doesn’t. Not in Michael Patrick King’s CD player.

What did you think of ‘And Martha Stewart Drop The Ball’? Feel free to leave your thoughts/comments below, and stop back later this week to read my final thoughts on the first season!