First Impressions: 1600 Penn ‘Putting Out Fires’ – The Prank Has Gone Wrong

In a different world, 1600 Penn could be a network, family-friendly version of Veep, full of witty banter and hilarious stock family situations. Instead, it’s a poor excuse for a low-concept sitcom, unable to muster a funny moment or emotional connection whatsoever – not to mention anytime it tries to be ‘progressive’, it feels either nutless, forced, or thrown in at the last second. In other words, it fits NBC’s new sitcom programming strategy to a T: burying a shitty replica of a traditional sitcom in a short-lasting, unfunny gimmick.

The most annoying facet of this shallow shit pile is its complete lack of any personality or pathos: it’s a show about a wacky family dealing with the wacky problems of living in the White House. We’re introduced to most of the family through Skip (Josh Gad), a bumbling lazy ass who spent seven years in college until he was kicked out for setting a frat house on fire. The problem with Skip is that he’s nothing but a bunch of unfunny punchlines: let’s watch this fat kid get all sweaty and go on random tangents!!!… he can’t pass a class in college, but he can influence international policy with his ‘charm’!!!… he’s an annoying, self-serving piece of shit, but his dad (the leader of the free world) is just oh-so-in-love with his ignorant failure of a son.

It would be one thing if the show had any interest in deconstructing what the pressure of being a child in the First Family is like: but of course, that would involve actual creative work, writing something that would involve some originality – something NBC has shown they no longer have any interest in, because every show exists just to get some ad hangover for The Voice or whatever stupid fucking Howie Mandel-hosted game show they’re peddling. And it’s not just Skip’s character that’s infuriating in their lack of intelligent construction: it applies to the president Dale (Bill Pullman) who’s about as charismatic and interesting as a wet piece of wax paper. It also applies to his second wife (the ‘trophy wife’) Emily (Jenna Elfman), who can’t get any respect from the press or her kids, especially the oldest daughter Becca (Martha Maclsaac), who she just wants to bond with SO badly. Becca is a complete bitch to her stepmother (because she’s not my MOMMY), but has to confide in her because she’s pregnant (having been the good girl her whole life). Skip can’t live up to his father, but he gets by on charm – and oh yeah, the younger sister is a lesbian (a truly WTF moment thrown in at the end that reeked of a creative decision to “spice” up the family and make them “provocative” in the most broad, lazy sense of the word).

Why continue? 1600 Penn ultimately fails because its not funny. I can forgive a show for not knowing its characters inside and out on day one, but the plot and the jokes on this show fail miserably for 21 and a half minutes. I mean for fucks sake, we don’t even see the family together in a single scene until the very end, when we’re supposed to believe the people berating each other all episode somehow come together, and are the all-loving and accepting “modern family” (it took four people to create this mess, and one of them is an exec producer/director on Modern Family).

Grade: F

Other thoughts/observations:

– one black guy on the show, and he’s the president’s assistant, who is named Marshall. Need I say more?

– who the fuck names their kids Xander and Marigold? And who would vote that man for president?

– why don’t any of the kids resemble anything like their father? oh that’s right, because plausibility wasn’t even considered.

– the show is so lazy, they can’t even be consistent with pit stains: Skip’s shirt gets drenched in sweat, which then disappears, and nobody seems to smell – although he doesn’t change his shirt for the rest of the episode. An entire sub-plot of jokes, completely ignored.

– best line of the episode: “Skip, stop talking.”

– what do fat kids do when they feel bad? Stuff their fatty-fat faces with disgusting piles of sugar-coated shit, of course! Isn’t that hilarious?

What did you think of 1600 Penn? Feel free to leave your thoughts/comments below!